Books and resources on communication for couples preparing for or within marriage

I will never forget the first time our marriage mentors described love to us. It was a quiet weekday night, and we were sitting in their cozy home after a long day of work. A vanilla-scented candle flickered on the counter, casting a soft glow. Bob and Lou, who’ve been married for over 60 years and are still going strong, welcomed us into their living room.

Musa and I sat across from them on a plush couch, completely captivated by their presence. Bob turned to us and said something I’ll never forget: “What we have now is so much deeper than anything we imagined when we were your age. Back then, it was passionate, exciting—it was puppy love. But now? It’s a true Godly love.”

Their love had been shaped by decades of life together—through loss, success, trials, and triumphs. What stood out most was not just the deep love they had for one another, but the unwavering respect. That, they said, is the secret to a fruitful marriage: love and respect.

Inspired by their wisdom, Musa and I began intentionally equipping ourselves with tools to help us grow in our marriage. We dove into three books that have since become staples in our relationship—books we still reference today.

📖 Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs

This was the first book we read together. Weekend after weekend, you’d find us at a local coffee shop, reading it aloud to one another and soaking up every word. It taught us that women crave unconditional love, while men thrive on feeling respected. The book explains a powerful cycle: Without love, she reacts without respect. Without respect, he reacts without love. And just like that, a painful cycle begins.
We learned how important it is to break that pattern and lean into each other with intention. To this day, we quote this book when we need a reminder.

💬 The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

We read this during a couples Bible study early in our marriage, and it completely shifted how we communicate. Ever feel like you're trying everything to please your partner, but nothing sticks? This book explains why.
Each person gives and receives love differently, and discovering our love languages helped us truly hear each other. I loved it so much, I now gift it to all my engaged friends! If you haven’t already, here’s a fun little quiz to help you discover your love language—it's eye-opening!

💰 The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

Finances were one of our biggest challenges in the beginning. We both had different habits and values around money, and combining them took time (and patience!). This book gave us a simple, step-by-step plan to gain financial peace and build a future together.
It’s not something we’ve mastered—we still revisit our plan regularly—but it’s been a total game-changer. Definitely a must-read if you're navigating money as a couple.

Books like these have made such a difference in how we love, communicate, and grow together. I’m always looking for more good reads, so if you have any favorite books that have helped your relationship or personal growth—please share them! I’d love to add them to our list.